Betrayed

Shall I say the truth?

Nature betrayed me.

Nature has always been a tranquil world to me. And by ‘world’, I do mean a world. Because it is in this place where I can believe that every wild piece of my imagination does exist. Pegasus, centaurs, elves, dwarves, fey, elkies, sphinx, werewolves, vampires, warlocks, and I might introduce them all, but they are reluctant in coming out of my imagination. For I had believed they exist, and I had lived with them since childhood, though it was only me who saw them. I looked up at the night sky and a shudder ran through my body. So vast the world was, and what petty problems did I fret upon? However, I believe I have a significance even in the enormous den of unimaginable.

The boiling turmoil inside me, calmed by the tranquil and incandescent beauty of nature. But I am naive. Naive to the terrifying beauty of Our Lady, the Nature. Now I succumb to the inexorable power of that which has watched us grow up. The souls of the forest, water and soil; the nymphs.

I am not naive now. I know now that the beauty, which had helped quench my thirst for quiescent, was terrifying sometimes. Too bright to look at. But Ah! Now I know. For when I stood today at the high window which overlooked to a vast dam, I realised. The cool breeze ruffling my hair, the blue expanse of sky stroked with white clouds and beneath conquering the throne, an immense sweep of elixir, shimmering as if the angels had sprinkled stardust. And it took my breath away. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. It was as if The Goddess of Nature had risen in front of me. I was lost, yet this time it was not in a soothing embrace. But a beautiful yet terrifying labyrinth. At that moment I realized that I had been betrayed. What I first thought would always bring me ataroxia, had left me with a churning desire to get dissolved in the beauty. Alas! I had to accept the truth, and I have done so.